Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
