I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
