We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
