i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
