I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
this just has baby written all over it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
