can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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