piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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