She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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