Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
