You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
