im six kinds of drunk right now
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
