I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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