i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
