I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You have to summon your inner elephant
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize