I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
