So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My cat gives me a boner
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
