You really coming over, don't trick.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
