I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
