Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.

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(614): View more from Ohio

story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess

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(907): View more from Alaska

I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.

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