Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
