I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
