She announced her abortion via fbk
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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