we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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