i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
