My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
