she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
