I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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