Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
