Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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