I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
