my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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