i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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