dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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