Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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