Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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