we have pet lesbian snakes
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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