weddingsv make me drug and hornr
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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