You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
