Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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