The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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