theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
