I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
my liver is dry heaving
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
