An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
