Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
