just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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