Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
