Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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