We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the day after is always just damage control
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
