yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
