he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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