You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This is my gift to your gina
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
