she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
