oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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