I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
