5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
