i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
