her vagine was all disorganized.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
