it hurts more in the daytime
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
