I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
