It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
