I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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