I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I am one with the molecules
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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