ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize