If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
