I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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