I am puke
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
