The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
