Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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