i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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