They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
