And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
