Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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