Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
