I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
