we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize