I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
