I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
