Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
