My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just want to make out with him forever
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
