I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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