ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
